the kill switch

If you want to have a happy life right now, never allow anyone to push your kill switch ever again.

"Okay, well, um, that's awesome," you say, "but what's a kill switch exactly?"

If you purchase an expensive car these days, chances are you'll also probably buy a burglar alarm. And probably a little gadget called a kill switch.

Before there was a thing called a kill switch, people just had burglar alarms. After you parked your car and turned off your ignition, you would step outside. Then you would double-check to make sure all your doors were locked. When you were properly content that everything was satisfactory, you would insert a tiny key, probably in an opening in the fender, turn it and the alarm would be set. If anyone tried to break into your car, the earth would be pierced with an ear-shattering siren, hopefully alerting anyone in the vicinity that someone was breaking into your automobile. That usually sent the burglar running. However, if the dude happened to be a bit braver than most, after he was in the car, it was only a simple matter of quickly jumping some hot ignition wires and starting the motor before he drove away with your car, even with the siren still screaming. And that would be the beginning of a terrible day for you. ;)

Fortunately, the kill switch turned a burglar's world upside down. This small gadget, installed along with the burglar alarm, is a button wired to the ignition, usually placed under the carpet in a place only you know. The next time you left your car, you would push the kill switch, make sure all the doors were properly locked and then turn on the burglar alarm. If someone tried to break into you car and the alarm went off, he could try jumping wires until the zombie apocalypse, but your car would never start for him. Why? Because the kill switch completely cut off all power to the starter. Sure, everything else in the car would work. The windshield wipers would wipe, the lights would turn on and he could turn on the radio and add Justin Bieber's shrill girly voice to the wailing alarm. Yet, much to his frustration, the car won't ever start. The only way for him to get that car to move a single inch would be to shoulder the back fender and push it slowly out of the parking lot. Hopefully by that time, though, someone would have been alerted and called the police.

With all that being said, very little of us realize that we, too, have a kill switch. It gets pushed whenever someone speaks harshly to us, critizes our best efforts or puts us down in any way. I'm sure we all know, to one degree or another, what it's like to shut down after someone made fun of us or hurled biting remarks our way. Sure, it's easy to brush one or even two off.  But after awhile, a long barage of insults, ridicule, criticism and scorn can weigh on us, slowing us down and finally, in many cases, dragging us to a complete halt. Life is not fair and people are not always nice. The result is that, oftentimes, what self-esteem and confidence we have built up can be shattered to the point where we finally give up and stop trying to be better. It's just easier that way, right? It's easier than being hurt again. The zombie-numb stage looks really attractive. However, easy is not happy in this case. 

And how often do we push the kill switches of others? We also happen to be a part of other people's lives and, yes, we, too, have our moments where we aren't nice. How many of us, in a moment of frustration, pushed the kill switch of our friends or family by criticizing or demeaning them in some way or sending cutting words to their faces? And then how many times have those same people then struggle to continue a relationship with you? Oh sure, the outside facade still works. Just like in the car with the working windshield wipers and radio, people can still be polite and even nice to your face. Some can even laugh and joke with you. Everything seems just fine. But inside, the power is completely shut off to you. You'll have to work hard to get the power flowing again. You know what I'm talking about. You've had your kill switch pushed at some point or another by some person. You know what the struggle feels like to try to have a good relationship again with someone who hurt you.

But back to my main point. If you want a happy life right now, don't let anyone push your kill switch. You have the power to not let other people effect you with their degrading comments. And don't push any more kill switches when you're with your family or friends. If you stop, you'll find that many other people will stop as well. 

Your life is your own. You have the power over your kill switch. Don't let anyone push it ever, ever again.

It's a lesson I'm still learning and it's hard.  But who said life was easy?  The easy way just isn't the happy way.

(Inspried by The Spellbinder's Gift by Og Mandino)